"Living in Fear Will Drive You Mad..."

"The ancient road you thought was new,
It's all we have to make it through..."
--Steven Deloupolos, "Me Died Blue"

Something about travelling broadens one's perspective. I used to have no interest whatsoever in anything that was going on outside the city of Lubbock, or at most the state of Texas. If it didn't directly affect me or my loved ones, what did it matter? But now I'm keenly interested in some worldwide events. I want to know some of the stuff that's going to affect my friends in Europe...because the Europeans, and pretty much non-Americans in general, aren't just hypothetical to me anymore. They're real folks, and nice ones too. I say I'm interested in some events, because I'm still not the most informed person in the world (ha), but I do pull up news sites and peruse the articles about Israel and Lebanon, and especially the recent events in England. Can you believe that they just prevented another September 11th? Most people don't seem to really grasp the seriousness of the situation. When people in the pharmacy talk about it, they're just kind of like, "Huh. Good thing we outsmarted them." And then on with daily life, and the usual complaints about the weather and gas prices. Hello, we could have been bombed again! On the other hand, though, what other reaction can a person really give? We can't go around being scared of every Muslim on the planet, or wake up in the morning looking for terrorists around every corner. But you have to admit that it's a crazy and unsettling world we live in. If I had been in Europe for 4 more days, I might still be there now. All things considered, I'm so glad to be home.

But then that whole "broadening" effect kicks in, and I feel like my roommate's beta fish. I've tasted the ocean, and now I have to go back to this teeny tiny aquarium and eat little bland flakes for breakfast and supper. Haha okay, so maybe the analogy only goes so far, but I'm actually pretty serious. Suddenly my small world, that used to be all I ever wanted, feels suffocatingly small. I want to be out moving around and learning things and rubbing shoulders with people from other cultures, and I can't.

But this is all part of the readjustment period, I'm sure. I'm pretty good at adjusting, usually. And it's not like I have no opportunities to meet interesting people here. My church has an internationals ministry that specifically reaches out to foreign students who are here at the university. If I have time this semester, I'd love to get involved. My "broadening" can benefit me right here, even if I never travel again. The Lord has blessed me with this experience, to help me to see the world more like he does, and not just as this irrelevant blank area on my mental map.

And it's times like these when I am especially grateful for the Lord's blessing, in so many ways. I can live in confidence that, no matter how crazy the world seems to get, God is in control and is not surprised by any of it. More than that, He's got a perfect plan that will work for the good of those who love Him. I don't have to live in fear, no matter what. And that is more valuable than anything else I know.