Here We Go...

All right, folks. It's time to buckle our seatbelts and get ready, because life is about to start flying in a million little pieces. Semesters are so hectic! I've really enjoyed the last few days, as everyone has come back into town: my friends, my brother, my boyfriend, my parents. It's been fun, spending time with people I've known forever and getting to know people I barely knew before. If only college life could exist minus the actual college part. Haha. But I'm excited about my classes too.

So here's to school...and church...and bible study...and work...and college baseball season...and life, somewhere squished in among everything else.

:)

Writer's Block

I love to write. This is why my blog entries sometimes turn into books. In fact, I was reading a friend's blog today, and she describes the way I think perfectly: "I see things in words in my head. Descriptions, words, phrases, and the rest." It's true. When I see an object that is brown, I think to myself that it is b-r-o-w-n. When people talk to me I see the words in my head, scrolling across in Times New Roman, white letters on black background. Seriously. Evidently that's strange, but it's the way my head works. So writing is absolutely natural to me...even more so than talking.

But I'm not very good at writing stories, mostly because I never really have any stories to tell. My own life, while I love it, is really rather boring and not very dramatic. And since a writer must write what she knows, I'm hardly qualified to write anything that isn't boring.

Nonetheless, I do try my hand at writing occasionally. Right now I'm working on a story tentatively called "The Piano Lesson" (writing what I know, as you can see). The beginning just flowed out of my mind and onto the page so naturally, but now I'm at a standstill. I can think of a good beginning (already have) and a good ending, but no middle to connect the two. Bummer.

But I'm very interested in the fact that my main character is a young boy. It just seemed right, in the part that just started flowing, but it is also strange because I've never been a young boy. I read one time, in some weird psychology book, that everyone has an alter-ego of sorts that is the opposite sex from them. I suppose that's where Philip Pullman gets the daemons in the His Dark Materials trilogy (every person has an alter ego, usually in the form of an animal, of the opposite sex that has a separate body but can't go very far from him), although I could be wrong about that. And it's true that a lot of the lame stories that start in my head and never get written have boy characters, but I'm not sure I'd say I have a male alter ego. I think I just like stories about boys because I know all about what it's like to be a girl. Boring. But now that I'm in the middle of this story, I am wondering if I am at all qualified to write from my boy character's point of view.

Oh well, it's not getting published. It might appear on here if I ever finish it though...

But I'm going to go hang out with Robin tonight and let time bring some ideas (hopefully)...

Random Stuff...

Christmas break is almost over. It's been too short, but rather lonely, so I guess I'm ready for what the next semester will bring me. I went to buy my books today...an activity which always makes me excited, in a nerdy sort of way, just before my semesterly heart attack over how many books I have and how much they cost (this year, 10 books for 4 classes). The part of me that loves studying and wants to go to Harvard for grad school and reads history books for fun...yeah, the nerdy part, gets really really excited in the bookstore. Of course, there's another side of me that just wants to spend time with people and keep a reasonably clean house, and that part cringes at the idea of having to read all those books in the span of four months. But anyway, mission accomplished. I am particularly intrigued by the books in my Texas History course. One of them is called Pigskin Pulpit: A Social History of Texas High School Football Coaches. Kind of random, huh? I like football though, maybe it'll be interesting.

In other news, I must admit with a certain amount of shame that I'm becoming addicted to a TV show. Worse, it's a reality show. I watched "Dancing with the Stars" tonight, and despite the fact that it's a complete waste of my time, I can feel the addiction coming on. I just love ballroom dancing, so even though some of these "stars" are really bad at it, I'm hooked. I'm already planning on watching the results show tomorrow to see who gets voted off first...oh dear. :)

Quote of the Day:
"I think [Charlotte Church] sounds like the soundtrack to a Teletubby-infested bad dream." --Bro

Happy New Year!

Well, it's just a tad early, but I probably won't be back to my computer before the big day. I'm going to a friend's house, and she's not really a computer type.

I didn't make any resolutions this year, because I never make any resolutions. I guess I figure if something is worth resolving, I'll do it any time of the year; and besides, the only thing New Year's resolutions are known for is their tendency to fall by the wayside around, oh, February. I can review some resolutions already in place, though:

• Love God more every day
• Love my family more, and more selflessly
• Love my friends in a way that is helpful to them and brings glory to God

Everything else pretty much goes under those or doesn't matter.

Ah, they just look so neat and pretty, typed out in a bulleted list, but the actual results so far have been a lot messier. Life is a lot messier than a bulleted list. And I've been pretty beat down lately, for various reasons. Christmas break is always somewhat lonely for me, and this one is particularly hard, with my parents gone on a 2-week cruise (I can't even call them on the phone while they're at sea), and my brother out of town the majority of the time with his fiance, and my boyfriend gone, and one of my best friends having moved away forever last week, and almost everyone else gone for the holidays. (Thank goodness it isn't absolutely everyone. My dear Robin, you have no idea how much I needed you, and how glad I am you're here for me. Thank you.) For a girl whose life resolutions center around love, loneliness is a hard thing to endure.

But that's where the first one comes in. Loving God is what I am designed to do. I've cried a lot in the last few weeks, but I've also learned what it means to have joy in the middle of your tears. Even while I'm feeling down and depressed, I know deep down that everything works out for the good of those who love God, and I know that He will never leave me or forsake me. Even while I'm sad, I feel completely at rest. I am completely confident that it is nothing but a temporary shadow, and I know that God controls everything, even (or especially) my most difficult times. Knowing that there is a perfect plan behind every event, whether happy or sad, keeps me going. I have joy, no matter what is happening externally. And that is an amazing thing.

So, if any of you are having a hard time right now, or if you are having the time of your life, I hope you know the God who gives true joy and contentment in this world.

Happy New Year.

Vacation

Ahh...what a nice thing Christmas break is. I'm working 8:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. every day this week...and it's funny, when I did the same thing this summer it felt like some kind of unnatural torture, but now, after the incredibly strenuous semester I just survived, it feels like a vacation. It is a vacation. After all, I'm not getting up any earlier or getting off any later than I was during school, and I am getting every single evening to do whatever in the world I want to do. No long nights freezing at the observatory, or pulling my hair out over Greek at 1:00 a.m. And my weekends are my own. I love it.

So what do I do with all this time? Well, first, as mentioned in the previous post, I shopped like a crazy woman. Now, however, I have everything I needed or wanted, and I've settled in for a Tolkien break.

It's a pattern of mine that during Christmas break I tend to focus on one particular author or series, probably because four weeks isn't really long enough to branch out into anything else. Last Christmas was the Harry Potter winter break. I read all five of the HP books then in existence, of which I had only read the first one previously. Then I bought all three HP movies and watched them. Naturally, you all know how much I adore Harry Potter. But this break is the Tolkien break. I've almost finished watching (again) all three extended movie versions of The Lord of the Rings (I watch it in six installments, half a movie each evening), and I'm reading J.R.R. Tolkien: Author of the Century, by Tom Shippey (which I highly recommend, by the way). I am also enjoying one of the best Christmas presents I have ever received.

My brother and his fiance gave me this gorgeous edition of The Silmarillion. It is absolutely wonderful, beautifully printed and filled with amazing paintings. Seriously, I want to buy prints of some of these illustrations and frame them for my walls. They're great.

This is exactly the sort of thing I would never buy for myself. It's simply too lavish and expensive, especially when you consider the fact that I already owned a paperback edition of this book (but had never read it). So naturally it is a perfect Christmas gift. I'm in love with this book. I've read about a fourth of it already (it just begs to be read), and I've been driving my family crazy with my constant raving about it: "Oh wow! Look at this map!" "Oooh, what a great painting, see?" "Listen to this, isn't it beautiful?" I'm such a nerd.

So, yeah, I'm a fan. And now I'm going to go back and bury myself in it again. My precious...

Catch Up Day...

Oh, my. The semester's over, my recent trip to Dallas is over, my big family Christmas party is over, and now it's time to catch up on all those little details in my life that I've kept putting off for several months. Time to shop for all those things I've been needing/wanting and had no time to go get. Time to run all those errands that just don't happen during the semester. Time to update my blog, which, like everything else, ends up falling by the wayside when things get busy. :)

I just love Christmas time. Last week was a wonderful time of fun and fellowship with friends, new and old, and with family. I went to Dallas to see my boyfriend's family for a few days, and that was thoroughly enjoyable, as usual. Then I flew back in time to come to my family's Christmas party. It was wonderful. Everyone was there, and we had lots of fun catching up on what everyone is doing. Two of my cousins are expecting babies that are due this next summer, so we're very excited about that. And my uncles, both of whom are in law enforcement, had a good time showing off their guns and giving me advice when I told them that I am planning on getting a concealed handgun permit this summer. Yeah, that's right, I'm gonna be packin' heat. I've always thought that it is a wise thing for a young single woman to be able to use a gun and to keep one around. After all, you might need to defend yourself or the people around you someday. I think it is especially wise for me to have a weapon, since I work with literally crazy people every day, and you never know when one of them will decide to stalk you or something. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in constant fear or anything, I just think I should take advantage of my right to bear arms in the hopes that I never have to actually use them. So anyway, my uncles had all kinds of advice about what to carry, what to take the test with, who to go to, etc. Having relatives who are into that sort of thing can be very useful.

So now I just have to get all these silly little details out of my hair, do a little Christmas shopping, and then I'll be ready to settle in for the break, so to speak. So I'm off! Shopping till I drop!

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas...